Single Is Plural

Its birthday for my grandmother (I call her ammichi) who turned eighty today. Every year, she decides when it is her birthday keeping track of the dates as per the Malayalam calendar.  I am sitting with her on the porch, her above-ankle cotton sari wisps in the warm air. I can see her deep wrinkle lines, criss- crossing at the back of her palm. Fingers with lot of cuts have become dark and stiff. Kerala as a state has maximum literacy and a higher ratio of women to men. Ammichi, isn’t literate and not proud of too many girls being born in her family. Typical to her generation she awaits the birth of her next male heir. She describes herself with ease; one that had an early marriage (at 15 years of age) survived the commotions of a joint family, a widow, a farmer, housekeeper, teacher, cashier and a mother of four. I can see her eyes moist when she recalls one of her abortions. She says she can still feel the baby gasping for breath between her legs. Most of her life she has been single handedly managing her fields and family contributing to the society in her own way.

 I look at her I see ‘Life’ I see ‘woman’ a single woman with her plural power.

My cursor is blinking, as I wait for the emotional outpour of words. It’s blinking. Single. Look at your cursor now. See how powerful it is from within. Use that power again. Single is plural.

The DIL and BANG of it!

It’s very amusing to be near your loved ones, pick a phone or just land up ringing your girl friends doorbell. But all is not so easy when you travel to a new city and start feeling like a lonely soul on a huge island. This is what I faced when I landed myself to the IT city Bangalore. The picture pasted in my mind was of mechanical robots, laptops, machines, prompt behavior and a spic and span city. Yes, many of which were true but once I started living inside this ecosystem some facts were stark enough to be ignored.

The first thing I missed was the RUSH, the mad adrenaline rush which the Dilliwallas breathe through every day, every minute. A drive to ‘kill’. Yes, I said Kill, they are sharp. Working in Delhi is like a threat on your neck. If you don’t do the work, another five people are ready to do the same job, declaring the conquest loud.  Right opposite to this was the crowd at my advertising firm. Thoughts were more important here than actions. So many thoughts were blown away in smoke at the verandah that watches were never worn. Day started at ten and filter kaapi kept the thoughtful mind intact. All was at ease here; while the Delhi people were busy throttling each other’s throat. Submissions could be late but what mattered was the content.

Apart from the work culture of 11 to 7, Bangalore was slow and easy to digest. The weather, traffic sense (which is now non-existent) and the warmth of the natives could never be missed. Bangalore has always been the right mix of culture and technology, it all depends which part of the city you survive in.

 Travelling by public transport in Delhi was always a nightmare, and only God would help if you lose your way. The last thing to expect while in Delhi was help. But is a life worth living without a little chaos? The busy streets of Janpath and CP, the colors so vibrant, the aroma of chats and kebabs, the authentic food streets of Chandni Chowk and the immediate peace at Lotus Temple are to be reckoned with warmth.  The philosophy behind zest for life is different for both the cities. While one enhances the everyday flavor of life, living life to the fullest, the other tells a different tale, of living it at the edge!

I WANNA BE PLUGGED!

I am at the helm of breaking, heart pounding, fingers tapping I am in a rush to get my lappy plugged. I am carrying my lappy breathing its last battery. The meter showing yellow triangle and off I run to plug it in. Individuals in a race to get plugged in to this, World Wide Web. And too many options too to just plug ourselves in. I feel a peculiar sense of calmness when am back in the familiar world of Social networks. Google plus just added to the circles I created for myself. Idea of a groups offered by Yahoo was a big thing once, then were the social networks like Twitter, Orkut, Facebook, Buzz, And in between somewhere, were the blogs.

‘Thought is energy. To create it, just use your imagination’. This thought-processing, energy generation as Einstein called it, is a child’s play now. Every fourth minute am thinking of something and if not me somebody is typing that on YASN (yet another social network). Once I had questioned the evolution of man through technology and yet today I see it as another life which I live virtually. Selective self-portrayal yet Plugged IN.

Democracy on ur Platter

A spoonful of mad saffron, a handful of green jehadis, one tablespoon blue collars, some white corrupt collars, Khaki sour men and some blue rifle naxals, red communal pepper (as per taste). Mix all this together and put it under the pre heated political news channel and get your favourite democracy meals everyday!

I can’t bear to talk about Mr. Ramdev suddenly popping from the box and claiming to be the next messiah. Not that I like what’s happening but not through a self hyped character who tried to runaway in women’s attire for the fear of being caught.! So much for Gandhi’s following? Much drama could have been saved if he would have allowed police to arrest him instead of hiding behind women. Don’t you understand that him and many more are just taking advantage of the mess and gaining brownie points? Don’t you think that, it could have been the BJP allies in muddle if they had won the elections? Nor UPA neither BJP can pass the Lokpal bill; all are in the same clutter. Do you think Jayalalitha will be any better than Karunanidhi? Nobody is cleaner here. Policies of cheating differ. I wonder how good it is to giveaway free rice and groceries to the common man. Isn’t it leading them to become lazy? Opening more small scale industries would have been a long term solution to employment, poverty and hunger. Best part is just like I enter my kitchen to cook and then again get busy with my life, I am able to switch off the democracy cookery show anytime. But for how long? Gathering better ingredients for a better meal should be the priority now. More determined educated common men will be the answer to make it gourmet.

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Feel like am alone in a huge marketplace.

Wt are you people doing? Y u so bz?!! Typing typing..chatting chatting, fighting fighting ,  running running, missing missing winding winding, driving driving, playing playing, watching watching, thinking thinking, finding finding, eating, sleeping, teaching,cooking,making,sewing, learning, browsing,drinking,laughing, catching, drawing,dancing, buying, ljasdhkf,badjfll, vnurtggtgn,jhhfruhfuhrfhrfhfjf, buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

hmmmmm..do you ever REST? believe me RESTING is the last word even on my mind. But don’t you need a stop? STOP.

Not a full stop!!!

You can start now.

Bangalore Yap

Life happens when u least expect it. The small tit bits are usually the memorable instances of our lives. After my ordeal with the north, my marriage brought me down south. I had never heard so much of the southern languages earlier. Yeah, being in Bangalore did give me breathers with the banglish yet 'aul is not so simble heere'.


Machha was a novel concept for me. For every sentence came in Macha.. I recognized the word immediately, I am smart, you see. Machha = macho. Many years hence, I understood the true meaning. Yaa another suffix which bangaloreans use, Yaa= yaar. What about Maa & Paa.. ohk they are also suffixes depending on the gender.

This was simpler but worse did come when all (tamil, kannada and malyalam) was thrown at me together. The first morning at our Bangalore house, I was still trying to recollect the names of my new found relatives when I heard, ting ting ting. Some sort of a bell. Suddenly all were running around. Aunties, mummies, daughters… nighties, payjamas saying, Aeyi.. Kasa banthu! Seeing my puzzled look, someone did explain that Kasa came, but who was Kasa? What made them run for it, I learnt it soon. One huge round lady, pushing a cartwheel of garbage. I don’t know if she was bigger or the load, but I knew why all were running.

Over the years, I became wiser and realized that the tone also matters here. One would never say, Venno (do you want? In regular mal) they will sing a song asking, venammmaa! And everything is FULL here no halves mind u! Fuuull right hogi (take extreme right), Fuuull clean maadi (clean it well), Fuuulllaa thorsi (show all items). Bangalore kannada is not that tough, if you have a background in english, hindi and any one, southern language, it’s easy to grasp. Bus= Bus + (u) = bussu, Car= car + (u) = Caroo. Same formula applies to any object eg, soap-u, bed-u etc. Am sure there must be more fundas to explain it fuull, but waat to do macha, no time only!

TO be or NOT to be?

This feeling of to be and not to be is hovering around, since I reached here. To do or not to do. To go or not to go. To help or not to. To take over or not to. To surrender or not to; To share or not; to write or not; to post or not; to forget or not…


I never found life so complicated till now. It’s a feeling of nowhere, no more; which is holding me back. Wish I could be more forthcoming and just get away with these question marks. I try to make it simpler, taking one day at a time but the future makes me anxious. Wish I could grab the pen like old days and write my favourite ‘to do’ list. I love making to-do list and I feel elated to strike through the ‘done’ points. As if those things will never come up again in life, as if I have done away with them. It’s like one tension less.. hmm. Soon I will be back, I have to be back. How it would give me immense peace to cancel out this Number one task.. to or not to be